Tuesday, May 8, 2007


Can you imagine working at CTU? It's gotta SUCK!

I can hear it now, as one of those expendable background CTU employees finally makes it home after yet another exhausting day...

“How was work today, dear? Here kids, drink this beer. It'll make Daddy laugh and help him feel better about working so much he can't remember your names. Oh, by the way, neither of you is his.”

“Oh, not too bad, honey. Milo Pressman got shot in the forehead by a Chinese terrorist. He died instantly. Nadia Yassir was mildly upset.”

“Dear me! That's too bad. Ham-flavored gelatin?”

Some observations:

1. Bad Actress #2 enters the room, stage left. Rena Sofer as Marilyn really isn’t too convincing.

(seen here with Kiefer's double)

Perhaps she should return to soap acting, where underacting is a virtue.

2. Speaking of Bad Actress #2, that sappy dialogue where she promised Jack her undying support, no matter what happens, was very Last of the Mohicans, Daniel-Day Lewis, "I WEEL FIND EWE!" of her wasn’t it? Yawn.

(Cher and David Copperfield's lovechild)

3. I really don’t give a flying flip about all these ridiculous romantic back stories. Chloe and Morris, Nadia and Milo, Nadia and Doyle, Jack and Doyle...

...They did, after all, have one of those Brokeback “Doyle, you're just gonna have to quit me, so's I can keel the bad guys” moments last week. Doyle was so overcome, he swooned. Didn’t Jack do the same thing with Curtis in a recent season? Yes, Jack's got real issues with his love connections...

...and yes, I’m really perturbed with all this plot rehashing lately.

4. Isn't Tom Lennox cold-hearted? Brrrrrrr.

Sort of creepy the way he watched Lisa Miller "spread democracy" with Bishop, without batting an eyelash.

5. That Lisa Miller’s some traitor, isn't she? You know, somehow “enemy combatant”...

...and “bumpin’ uglies for the good ol’ U.S. of A”...

...don’t belong in the same sentence. And having to do it in front of a camera. Egad!

6. Gimme a break! Blowing up CTU and taking hostages?

Once again, another rehashed plot device!

Didn’t CTU and Sara Gilbert get blown up on Day 2?

And didn’t Derek, the daughter Jack never had, get taken hostage on Day 5?

Yes and yes. Apparently, CTU is the third most incompetent, bumbling federal entity EVER! After this one...

...and this one.

7. Well, I must admit Milo’s murder was quite a shocker.

Seen here overly baked by his tanning bed and wearing his "New Kids on the Block" Halloween costume.

If you looked really closely, you could see Nadia in the background making dinner reservations for her and Doyle.

8. So, Josh Bauer is the bargaining tool for some mysterious reason. I’m placing bets now that the season will end with Jack discovering that Josh is his son...

...engaging in a violent showdown with his own father...

...realizing that plying Marilyn with alcohol at that Christmas party in 1991 obviously was a bad idea...

...admitting that Graem used to have pretty good hair...

...and gracefully accepting the fact that, you know, having an evil ba$tard for a dad and a pig for a brother sets him apart from other federal agents.

Next week:

We finally get to meet Jack’s mom.

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