Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Hour 12 (5-6 p.m.): The Feeling in the Pit of My Stomach Is Not the Mango Salsa But Vague Respect for Tom Lennox


Some observations:

1. Notice that Noah Daniels stopped just short of jubilation when he realized he’d be the one holding power, even if only briefly?

Long enough to send the country down the tubes, dang it.

2. Now, didn’t Tom Lennox suddenly develop some juevos grandes?

FINALLY! I felt something uncomfortable during this episode, something vaguely tingly and nauseating, much like when you’re dreaming and you suddenly realize you’re standing in front of a huge crowd...

...in nothing but your skivvies.

Turns out it was only my newfound respect for Tom Lennox.

Who knew?! Too bad no one believes him. Of course, his stupid plan to suspend certain civil liberties is coming around to bite him in the a$$.

Don’t you love it when your civil liberties are suspended, just like high-heel boots over a power line?

Feels right nice, like baseball, apple pie, and a wiretap on your phone line. God bless America!

Hard lesson learned. I think Tom Lennox will end up finding an ally in Karen Hayes. What a neat little poetic twist.

3. Anyone notice that Veep Daniels’ assistant Lisa Miller is that woman from Invasion?

Why is it all these blonde ex-24 women end up in shows no one watches? Jack just leaves 'em hanging. Not sure what’s worse: fighting evil hurricane-borne alien spores...

...or tangling with Powers Boothe on a bad day.

4. Now, speaking of what's worse, whom do we think is worse? Slimeball ex-Prez Logan?

Markov, the Russian Satan?

Or the Smelly Rat King, Reed Pollack?

Since they’ll probably all end up in various levels of hell, I guess it all comes out in the wash.

4. Wonder how Chloe has so much power? “Uhh, Chloe, I need a stealth bomber...,

...someone who can translate Chechnyan to Spanish to Aramaic to Russian to Swedish back to Spanish to English...,

...a skilled marksman carrying a Revolutionary-era British musket...,

...and an onion bagel with strawberry cream cheese.


“Sure, coming right up, Jack. It’ll take a couple of minutes.”

5. Liked how Jack got “Hooked on Russian Phonics.” All he did was add “skaya” and “ushka” to English words, as in “Ya! Some babushka gave-skaya me the keys-skaya und dis iss how I get down-skaya here-ushka und gotten through the door-skaya to check-ushka on the Rooskie-bushka Consul-skaya!” and the Russians kicked up their heels...

...and let him in like he was the inventor of the Cyrillic alphabet.

Isn’t it wonderful how Jack got to leave his Chinese prison for a brief layover in L.A. just long enough to save the world, only to get put on a lovely 27-hour flight to that quaint little brisk winter haven we all know and love as Gulag Springs, Siberia. That’s gotta suck.

Here, Jack is thinking, "Hmm. This doesn't FEEL like shuffleboard."

6. The scenes with Jack and Markov ROCKED! Nothing says “diplomatic immunity” like an expensive finger guillotine, I mean, cigar cutter.

I must say the actor who played Markov (John Noble) was just superb. Here we see him in better days attending a Russian Consulate Lord of the Rings Party.

"More VODKA, please!"

The way he grimaced/grinned through his bloody pulp of a face, trying to stay conscious as best he could, his sad little stump of a pinky finger throbbing in pain, knowing the U.S. was still doomed. PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL!

Next week:
That Silver Spoons kid shows up either to get himself in a bunch of shenanigans with Alfonso Ribeiro et al...

...or to go on a crying jag...

...over his father Jon Voight.

I don’t see either scenario helping anyone much, especially this guy...

...or this guy.

Martha Logan and Aaron Pierce make a guest appearance TOGETHER! THEIR LOVE HAS BEEN CONFIRMED!

Here they are relaxing in Boca:

God bless 'em! I hope they BOTH kick Charles Logan's a$$!

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