She looks like she's seen a ghost. Maybe she has...
Little Ricky Schroder is playing an a$$hole...
…and Martha Logan goes haywire!
Or should I say HAIRWIRE?!
Some observations:
1. Ever notice how everyone at CTU has some kind of history with someone else? Now there’s tensions between Silver Spoons...
...and this guy.
Gimme a break! All this bad blood is overkill! What's next? Bad blood between this guy...
...and the head chef at the CTU commissary?
2. Really liked the way the dead guy conveniently broke Jack’s fall. It’d be nicer world if there was a dead guy there to break our fall every time we fell on our a$$es.
3. Plain and simple: Doyle’s an a$$.
Even plainer and simpler: the bigger the a$$, the smaller the guy's tallywhacker. Had we seen what Doyle drives, we would've known beforehand what a small-membered jerk he was:
4. Is Veep Daniels not the biggest SATAN around?!
He left me actually feeling sorry for Tom Lennox. Someone get some smelling salts and wake up President Wayne Palmer, for God’s sake!
5. Just think, at the Meadowcreek Insane Asylum, I mean, Day Spa, where the slogan is “Where the wealthy lose their marbles every day,” Aaron and Martha’s day probably got off to a fairly good start:
pinochle...
...meds...
...lawn darts...
...spinning class...
...meds...
...4:00 buffet...
...stab the ex-husband.
What mayhem!
6. Didn’t Aaron Pierce look all trim and slim?
Hitting the gym between Martha’s lithium cocktail...
...and electro-shock spa treatment...
...is apparently doing the man good! When Logan arrived, Aaron should’ve stuck in his head in the door: “Honey, the ba$tard who slapped you on the tarmac is here!”
And believe me, if you’ve ever been slapped on the tarmac, it hurts like hell!
7. Love, love, LOVE Jean Smart! She ROCKS! Absolutely delightful the way she maniacally sliced up that kiwi fruit.
Very testicle-like, but WAY TOO BIG to be Charles Logan's.
8. Jack’s got such a great way about him, doesn’t he? Especially when he walked in on Boris and Natasha, the two Russian lovebirds...
Nothing says “Pardon me,” like “I won’t hurt you. I may kill you, but I won’t hurt you.”
And then the wonderful frenetic, whacked out climax of the show, with Martha stabbing Logan in the neck with her favorite kitchen knife.
OH. MY. GOD! Wasn’t that just gratuitously delightful?! It was like watching June Cleaver take a sharpened spatula to Ward out on the front lawn.
Disturbing, yet morbidly watchable! We knew something was going to happen, but WHO KNEW?! And then for her to sit there, handcuffed, and say, “What the…? I shoulda been given a medal!” Priceless!
Of course, if she had offed the Prez a few years ago, we might not have lost David Palmer in the first place. Good lord, if she had it in her to help Aaron put a dead federal agent in the trunk of her limo...
...she surely could’ve found the time during Logan's early political career to grab something sharp like a letter opener...
...or one of those fancy state dinner toothpicks...
...and stick it in Charles Logan’s jugular while he was sitting on the toilet. Would’ve saved us a lot of trouble!
Next week:
Martha Logan does get a medal of sorts...
...while Milo and Silver Spoons try to settle their differences with a team-building CTU Dance-off!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Hour 13 (6-7 p.m.): Try Not to Think About It, But Martha Logan and Aaron Pierce Are Probably Doing It
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Hour 12 (5-6 p.m.): The Feeling in the Pit of My Stomach Is Not the Mango Salsa But Vague Respect for Tom Lennox
Some observations:
1. Notice that Noah Daniels stopped just short of jubilation when he realized he’d be the one holding power, even if only briefly?
Long enough to send the country down the tubes, dang it.
2. Now, didn’t Tom Lennox suddenly develop some juevos grandes?
FINALLY! I felt something uncomfortable during this episode, something vaguely tingly and nauseating, much like when you’re dreaming and you suddenly realize you’re standing in front of a huge crowd...
...in nothing but your skivvies.
Turns out it was only my newfound respect for Tom Lennox.
Who knew?! Too bad no one believes him. Of course, his stupid plan to suspend certain civil liberties is coming around to bite him in the a$$.
Don’t you love it when your civil liberties are suspended, just like high-heel boots over a power line?
Feels right nice, like baseball, apple pie, and a wiretap on your phone line. God bless America!
Hard lesson learned. I think Tom Lennox will end up finding an ally in Karen Hayes. What a neat little poetic twist.
3. Anyone notice that Veep Daniels’ assistant Lisa Miller is that woman from Invasion?
Why is it all these blonde ex-24 women end up in shows no one watches? Jack just leaves 'em hanging. Not sure what’s worse: fighting evil hurricane-borne alien spores...
...or tangling with Powers Boothe on a bad day.
4. Now, speaking of what's worse, whom do we think is worse? Slimeball ex-Prez Logan?
Markov, the Russian Satan?
Or the Smelly Rat King, Reed Pollack?
Since they’ll probably all end up in various levels of hell, I guess it all comes out in the wash.
4. Wonder how Chloe has so much power? “Uhh, Chloe, I need a stealth bomber...,
...someone who can translate Chechnyan to Spanish to Aramaic to Russian to Swedish back to Spanish to English...,
...a skilled marksman carrying a Revolutionary-era British musket...,
...and an onion bagel with strawberry cream cheese.
AND I NEED IT YESTERDAY!
“Sure, coming right up, Jack. It’ll take a couple of minutes.”
5. Liked how Jack got “Hooked on Russian Phonics.” All he did was add “skaya” and “ushka” to English words, as in “Ya! Some babushka gave-skaya me the keys-skaya und dis iss how I get down-skaya here-ushka und gotten through the door-skaya to check-ushka on the Rooskie-bushka Consul-skaya!” and the Russians kicked up their heels...
...and let him in like he was the inventor of the Cyrillic alphabet.
Isn’t it wonderful how Jack got to leave his Chinese prison for a brief layover in L.A. just long enough to save the world, only to get put on a lovely 27-hour flight to that quaint little brisk winter haven we all know and love as Gulag Springs, Siberia. That’s gotta suck.
Here, Jack is thinking, "Hmm. This doesn't FEEL like shuffleboard."
6. The scenes with Jack and Markov ROCKED! Nothing says “diplomatic immunity” like an expensive finger guillotine, I mean, cigar cutter.
I must say the actor who played Markov (John Noble) was just superb. Here we see him in better days attending a Russian Consulate Lord of the Rings Party.
"More VODKA, please!"
The way he grimaced/grinned through his bloody pulp of a face, trying to stay conscious as best he could, his sad little stump of a pinky finger throbbing in pain, knowing the U.S. was still doomed. PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL!
Next week:
That Silver Spoons kid shows up either to get himself in a bunch of shenanigans with Alfonso Ribeiro et al...
...or to go on a crying jag...
...over his father Jon Voight.
I don’t see either scenario helping anyone much, especially this guy...
...or this guy.
Martha Logan and Aaron Pierce make a guest appearance TOGETHER! THEIR LOVE HAS BEEN CONFIRMED!
Here they are relaxing in Boca:
